Smooth, Sophisticated Ladies' Man

Or perhaps not, I'll leave you to judge.

 

Somehow, this little gem has escaped us until now. It really shows how a man can enhance his worth in the eyes of his lady.

 

A girl goes to take a shower. Her boyfriend, in a most romantic way, makes a pretend piece of dog excrement out of chocolate and then collects a tray of snow and throws the snow with the "excrement" into the shower!

 

The lady is horrified and describes his actions as "nasty". I say, "nice one, my son!" If only all men knew how to get to a girl's heart in this manner, the world would be a different place (and a few of us wouldn't be walking straight!).

 

Baseball And Dog Fouling

Now these are not topics you would immediately link together. Well, the dog in the following video does!

 

As can be seen from the attempts to capture it, it is a feisty little creature. Perhaps it doesn't like baseball or perhaps it was simply in urgent need of relieving itself?

 

Either way, it has provided us with a laugh and reminded us that dog fouling transcends all things and will strike at sporting events in the US as well as on the pavements of the UK!

 

Merry Christmas!

All at Dog Fouling And Red Rubber Bands HQ wish all our followers and readers a very happy and faeces free Festive Season!

 

 

Merry Christmas! 

Leith Rewards Again!

We have already seen on this blog how Leith rewards those, who pick up. Here, we see Mary being rewarded for clearing up after her dog. 

 

I love the focus at the beginning on a pile of dog excrement. I love the interaction. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was staged!

 

Well done Mary and well done Leith, keep the music rolling and the excrement flowing!
 

Dog Fouling, Music And Christmas

In this Festive season it had to happen in some shape or form.

 

Here it is, a Christmas song about dog fouling, albeit that the fouling is taking place indoors.

 

I salute this artist and wish him and the dog a Merry Christmas!

 

 

Scoop It And Fling It

Clearly this is the philosophy of life, to which the lady featured in the following videos appears to adhere. She has got the concept of living with your neighbours off to a fine art in that she appears to manage her relationship with them by totally ignoring their comforts!

 

I am particularly impressed by the way she actually takes her dog in one video to what appears to be a cultivated area, waits for it to defecate and then scoops it and flings it.

 

Little more can be said other than to observe that, once again , the power of CCTV becomes clear. Again, I stress how wrong it would be to post a bulging jiffy bag to the perpetrator!
 

Another Neighbour Dispute And Dog Fouling

Not too much to say about this one. It is as the title suggests. Two neighbours are at war, this isn't their only sojourn into Youtube.

 

On this occasion, the interaction is short and sweet and involves the tossing of a bag of dog excrement.

 

Thank goodness those involved are grown up, imagine how it would be if either chose to be childish!

 

 

Pavement Art In Hastings

Our thanks must go to South East Operative AC for providing us with the following example of pavement art.

 

We all know that Hastings is a thriving, cosmopolitan town where dog fouling is something of an issue. Therefore, it shouldn't really be a surprise that this marvellous example of pavement art should have originated in this seaside resort.

 

There are aspects of this we will never know or understand. Did the placing of the frame precede the arrival of the dog? Was this a conscious attempt to make an artistic statement or is it coincidence? Is the frame now stained with faeces?

 

All I know is that there is somebody in the Hastings area, who sees the world as we do. Whoever you are, we salute you and wish you many happy years in the world of art!

 



There Are No Flies On The Makers Of This Video

Which is more than can be said for the pile of faeces in Hollywood in the video below!

 

Given that this is in Hollywood, can we expect a major film on the topic? Mutating Flies, perhaps? Revenge of the Steaming Pile? Debbie Does Dog Faeces? The possibilities are endless.

 

Suffice it to say, I would advise everyone to avoid this pavement/sidewalk!

Once Again, It Brings Out The Worst In People

On this occasion it brings out racism, it brings out the foulest of language and it brings out hate and anger.

All this because there appears to have been some dog fouling taking place.

With all the hatred in the world already, we can do without this. That said, it has made me feel sane again and reminded me that my life is relatively simple. Who would have thought that such an exchange could ultimately produce feelings of calm?

If Music Be The Food Of Love.........

...then there won't be much romance in this fellow's life!

 

That said, this is still art! It has many positives, not least that it leaves us in no doubt that the singer has stepped in excrement.

 

I admire this man. He is not afraid to express his emotions. He shouts, he cries, he sings he also, by implication, has fouled his friend's carpet. Good on him!

 

I challenge you to listen to this and not hum it afterwards!

 

 

Streetkleen - The World has Been Waiting For You!

 

 

Once in a while we are blessed with the appearance of kindred spirits. This has now happened in the form of Streetkleen!

 

Have you ever wondered just how much dog excrement is produced in your county? I know that I have and I have spent many hours trying to work out formulae to calculate the size of the mountain of waste around me.

 

Now, there is no need to wonder about this. Streetkleen has used information available from the Pet Food Manufacturers' Association to tell us just how much excrement is sloshing around.

 

If you live anywhere in the UK, you can now be totally aware of how much attention you need to pay to pavements and paths.

 

As I type this I am feeling quite emotional so I'll simply leave you with the link. Patronise these brothers and sisters of righteousness, support them, cherish them!

 

Link here.

Excellent Propaganda In Leith

This propaganda video from Leith has it all and says it all!

 

It introduces the concept of happy, helpful enforcement wardens. They dance along the path, they look kindly at squirrels, they give out rewards!

 

It has jolly music, it has a dog barking in time with the music, it has a happy, cheerful dog owner.

 

It has a reward from A1 Pets, although the one comment on that page does give cause for concern but I stress I have no personal knowledge of the shop.

 

Watching this video made me want to go to the park and clear up some mess just to get a free voucher! I can hear you now, humming along to the catchy tune!

 

 

 

 

Dog Poo Fairy strikes again!!

Remember the Dog Poo Fairy campaign run by Keep Britain Tidy ?

Well the fairy is back and now she is armed with a new sprinkling of "dog poo magic" designed to drive dog fouling from the streets of the UK once and for all. She has obviously been reading our blog and realised that a good campaign needs music to "rally the troops" and get her message across.

But what makes this new campaign so much more, is that you can get involved by uploading the pictures of your pet dog and watch as they sing their heart out reminding you to pick up their dog poo.

Just to get you going I have included my dog singing. But then it struck me - why not upload pictures of famous people and get them to sing their support instead?

Hence was born the Boris Johnson dog fouling rap, the Alan Sugar "rock of poo" & the ever popular Barack Obama country swing.

Try it for yourself here.

Enjoy :-)

Brussels Is Awash!

So says NathanLassyri1.

Nathan has a particular broadcasting style but he also brings international issues of dog fouling to the fore.

He advises us that Brussels is heaving with dog excrement. He also confesses to crime in that he has twice failed to clear up himself but puts this down to diarrhoea, a subject raised on this blog before.

I think Nathan explains things verbally better than I can write them.

I am only left to observe that the world is sinking under the weight of this vile mountain of Satan's viscera!

For Once There Is A Tune!

At last, a song with something like music!

 

We will perhaps never know if the singer did fall over as described in the song. That said, given this is a work of art, it matters not.

 

He has the bags, he has the attitude, he has the message!

 

I say: "right on, brother"!

 

 



Corruption Of Youth Continues

Here at Dog Fouling and Red Rubber Bands HQ we are no strangers to seeing young people corrupted by dog fouling. This corruption has frequently taken the form of young people responding to unnecessary temptation by placing fireworks in dog waste bins.

 

As I'm sure you realise, I don't think this is funny at all! It wasn't funny in 2009 here or here! It was equally as disgusting here! I am now able to state that it still isn't funny!

 

I sincerely hope that, in watching this video, you will reach the same high level of disgust, which it caused me to attain!

 

When will these young people learn?

 



Music - The Great Medium Of Communication

Although not in this instance!

 

I'm not really sure why I've posted this. Only, really, to further demonstrate that dog fouling is affecting the minds of the young.

 

This "song" is enough to make most people throw their screens across the room.

 

The only words I can understand come at 55 seconds. Those words are "eat dog sh*t".

 

I think we will need many psychologists to help our youth out of this dog mess ridden era!

 



'Grit and Dog Shit': can there be more to localism for councils?

Are councils limited to spreading grit in cold weather and tackling dog fouling?

So asks the Guardian, a much respected news publication. This blog actually come into being as a recognition of the fact that the views of everyday, ordinary people are subsumed beneath the desire of central government to ignore dog fouling and littering with red rubber bands and to concentrate only on peripheral issues such as robbery and burglary.

 

In other words, the localism agenda is being ignored. Centralisation has come to dominate our lives. Alright, it has driven the crime rate down and made the streets safer but my shoes are still plastered in dog faeces on a regular basis!

 

I won't regurgitate the Guardian article here, I will, instead urge you to read it yourselves. I must, however, quote the article: "How often do we forget that the average resident is more concerned about, as I have heard one person put it, "grit and dog shit"?" I suggest we must never forget this!

 

This could be the moment for change! Join us in our quest!

 

Article here.

Joe Nolann - A Mouth Fouler Than Dog Fouling!

Dog fouling is now affecting the youth of our nation!

 

I don't know about you but I think bad language sounds really bad. Coming from one as young as Joe, it really cuts like a knife into soft excrement.

 

I cannot approve of Joe's foul language but perhaps we should sit up and realise how dog fouling is turning our young people into a generation of foul mouthed, ranting, unhappy people!
 

Diarrhoea Rears Its Head Again

The subject of diarrhoea has hit this board before. The real issue is "how do you clean up diarrhoea after a dog? Is it fair to hold an owner to account when a dog produces a largely liquid deposit?

 

I don't claim to have a definitive answer but I do know that I recently witnessed such an event on  my estate. I was walking along with my wife. Dog fouling was the last thing on our minds (well, hers anyway, I'm always mulling the topic over to myself!).

 

On the other side of the road, a gentleman was walking his German Shepherd. The dog decided to let loose (literally) in the middle of the pavement. The gentleman approached with a bag, looked and walked off without clearing up. I went to investigate and found that the German Shepherd had added to a nearby deposit. naturally, I took some pictures.

 

While I have become accustomed to faeces since jointly managing this blog, even I felt those first tingles of a gag reflex in my throat as I photographed this foul pool of degradation. Prepare yourselves!

 

 

I'm sure you can take my point here. The older deposit at the bottom of the picture could have been bagged but how do you get rid of the upper pool?

 

To help you ponder the subject, here is a close up of this lake of Satan's sputum!

 

 

I really can't say anymore!

Dog Fouling To Decide The US Presidential Elections

We thank Huffington Post for bringing us this story.

 

Jim Coniglione is the owner of Scoopy Doo, a dog poop collection service in Long Island, N.Y He has allegedly accurately predicted the results of the last three presidential elections. How has he done this? Simple, by deciding which candidates resemble the most deposits of dog poo.

 

He opts for Mit Romney being the victor. Why does he conclude this? As he puts it; "I think it's because of the economy. People are giving their dogs cheaper dog food and the dogs are producing more 'product,' and that looks more like Romney."

 

I can see little resemblance between the deposits shown below and the candidates but perhaps my view of the world is too narrow, you decide!

 

 

Jim gives Mitt Romney a "two-turds" majority.

 

Enjoy the video but visit the link at the end.

 

 

 

 

Article here.

Bromley Leads The Way Again!

My thanks go to one of our south east operatives, Operative JWR, for this information.

 

The London Borough of Bromley has a recreational park called High Elms. Operative JWR recently went there on a dog fouling recce and discovered that the park is a centre of excellence in that it has cast iron dog fouling bins. An example can be seen below.

 

 

Even with this magnificent facility, we are sad to report that there is a bag hanging out. I would also be intrigued to see the consequences of following the great British tradition of inserting a firework into the bin. Cordite v cast iron, what a match! That said, we utterly condemn any such behaviour.

 

Operative JWR's dog saw the bin and was clearly excited by it in some way. Perhaps the colour, perhaps the smell, who knows? We do know that the dog aggressively leaped at the bin and Operative JWR can be seen pulling him away. Imagine the consequences if he had got his snout in! Dogs can vomit, you know!

 

 

Channel 4 Gets In On The Act

My thanks go again to our operative "The Sussex Avenger" for scouring the TV listings and discovering that Channel 4 is the latest media source to recognise the issue of dog fouling and, more importantly, the positive aspects thereof.

 

This programme has is it all; it has cow dung, dog excrement and powerful visual images.

 

The posts on this blog relating to the recycling of dog waste are too many to list here. At last, it seems as if the topic is being taken seriously in the UK. Here, we see cow dung being transformed into electricity on a large scale. Then, we move onto a bag of dog mess. It has to be squeezed into a container and then manually mixed with water. Frankly, I could all but taste it and I'm sure you will as well!

 

The crowning triumph is when the waste is used to boil a cup of tea. Tea will never taste the same to me again!

 

The Channel 4 website can be accessed here but why not just go directly to the video below? Afterwards, get practising that massaging technique!

 

 

 

 

Watch Where You Walk In Worthing

Here at Dog Fouling And Red Rubber Bands HQ we rely heavily upon information from our various operatives.

 

I am, therefore, very grateful to our South East Operative, known as SR, who has provided us with the following gems.

 

Worthing is, traditionally, a seaside, retirement town. People go there for peace and quiet. I can only hope that they check their shoes, shopping trolleys, buggies, wheelchairs etc before entering their houses.

 

These pictures tell a sorry tale of Worthing. They speak for themselves. I need give no further commentary. I thank our operative for bringing these disgusting manifestations of degradation to our attention!

 

 

 

 

 

 We hope you have enjoyed this slice of dog fouling paradise!



It's Still Going On In Berlin

Berlin has featured here before.

The following video gives us a good description of a dog waste bin in Berlin. For those of us, who are interested in this topic, this is a really valuable insight into the German war on dog fouling.

"Woggyflush" clearly takes this subject very seriously and so he should!

I am particularly impressed by the close up video of the fly feasting on the excrement! If nothing else, this shows again that dog fouling is an international issue and that flies eat excrement the world over. We hail these creatures, without them the world would be a fouler place indeed!

Another Video Capture

Once again we see the power of the video!

 

The gentleman on camera is wearing a dressing gown while he allows his dog to foul the lawn near a tennis court, directly outside a window!

 

I can't really say much more than that but must observe that it would be quite wrong to gather up a week's worth and post it to him. It would be illegal and I absolutely condemn any such idea! Never do it!

 

Similarly, don't smear it over his front door handle. Again, illegal and quite wrong. I could not begin to countenance such an act!



This Is Clearly Not Real...

....but is the 100th post of the year, so why not?

 

The only real message here is, "leave your dog's tail alone"!

 

 

McMayhem - Another Pointless Exercise

Having recently blogged a gratuitous music post, I once again find myself in the arena of strange and pointless activity.

 

McMayhem seem to feel that there is merit in convincing people to clean up not their dog's excrement but that left by somebody else's.

 

The astounding thing is that people agree and there is no violence. This can only be a good thing!

 

As with many of my posts, this does no more than establish that dog fouling is deeply embedded within the international psyche!

 

 

If They Won't Bag It, Just Stand There And Eat It!

As our readers and followers will know, we have campaigned tirelessly on this blog to convince dog owners and walkers to bag it and bin it.

 

We are, however, aware that not everybody heeds the message and little can be done to improve their behaviour. Well, ask yourself this; "how would you react if someone ate dog excrement in front of you"?

 

I know what I would do, I would wretch and heave! I think that this would be a perfect way of deterring future offending! Therefore, the following video offers the solution.

 

In future, if you see someone failing to pick up, ask them politely. If they refuse, walk over to the faeces, pick a piece up and eat it! They won't come back after that!

 

If you think it's strange that I should have this idea, I would retort that producing the video below makes me look normal!

 

 

Totally Gratuitous Music Post

Even I am challenged around seeing the point of this "song".

 

It does nothing for the cause and makes no point. I post it simply as evidence that dog fouling is now all pervasive.

 



The power of the red rubber band.

Peter is absolutely obsessed with dog fouling - in fact any form of animal waste products if his last few posts are anything to go by!

He is a dear friend, but even I feel he is beginning to lose it. So, in order to rebalance the blog, I have included a post on my favourite topic - Red Rubber Bands. But this time I don't want to complain about Postman Pat dropping them or ask you to collect them - all I want to do is remind you of the hidden power a red rubber band has, especially when it gets together with its other dangerous little red elasticated friends!

Slow Mo Guys

The Slow Mo Guys have done all the hard work for me. They took a water melon and then spent 20 minutes wrapping red rubber bands around it until it exploded. 

But the best part is that they filmed everything so they could watch it back at slow motion so we can all appreciate the power of the red rubber band.

I don't think Biffo the Bear or the lady from the Japanese game show knew just how close they came to exploding their own heads on live TV !!

Do not underestimate the power of the dark side of the band :-)

St Agnes, Cornwall - Dog And Horse Dung "Street"

Cornwall is known for its beauty and St Agnes is an amazing example of this stunning county. Yet, behind the backdrop of stunning scenery, lies an undercurrent of dog and horse fouling, which would cause the most hardened traveller to heave!

 

Trevaunance Road has featured re dog fouling and horse dung. Evidence is that the village is awash! I can assure you that every pavement and lane is like a mosaic of different colours (of brown and black that is!). Even hedge tops are not safe!

 

There is a bridal path linking Water Lane with Goonown. I walked it yesterday. When I say "walked" it was more like "danced" as we avoided the various piles along the way.

 

Below are views of the lane up and down.
 

Up The Lane, Swimming In Horse Dung

 

Sliding Down The Lane

 

 And, of course, the main topic - dog fouling:

Dog Fouling And A Slug In The Lane!

Yet one brave citizen is fighting back! He/She has allowed the local council to affix signs to his/her gate:





Official Signs

And he/she has gone one step further by displaying his/her own sign. He/She gets away with it because it is in French. We will translate it as "Dog and Horse Dung Street". I leave you to work out the correct translation! We salute this warrior of righteousness!

 

Dog And Horse **** Street



 

 

A Report From One Of Our Operatives

One of our South East Operatives, identified as Agent SR, travels all over the South East. He is keen to identify hotspots re dog fouling.

 

He sent in the below picture from Erith, which is in the London Borough of Bexley but actually has a Kent postal address.

 

The picture says it all, you cannot flush Erith!

 

 

Trevaunance Road, Cornwall Again!

Our avid readers and followers will know that Trevaunance Road in Cornwall has featured on this blog before. It raised the spectre of horse dung here and trashed the philosophy of Karl Marx here.

At this stage, one might feel that Trevaunance Road has contributed enough, but no! On this occasion, it's a case of beauty and the beast!

Cornwall is a beautiful place. The sun was shining and I saw an opportunity to take the following picture from Trevaunance Road. To take it, I had to climb onto a hedge. Look at the beauty of this scenery!

I didn't look as I jumped onto the hedge. The hedge is above waist height. I just put my hands onto it and hauled myself up. Imagine my horror when I saw that I had missed the following pile by inches!

I congratulate the dog owner responsible for this! Beauty contrasted with baked faeces; oh the horror!

Over The Top? - Doggie Do Dissolver - You Decide

I can't really work this product out.

We all know that it is a serious crime to allow a dog to foul without clearing up. How then does this product help?

I cannot find any bye laws, which allow owners not to clear up as long as they spray the faeces with a substance, which allegedly dissolves said faeces and bacteria.

I cannot, therefore, help but feel that this product doesn't really achieve much. That said, the Doggie Doo Dissolver is a very innovative tool.

I still wonder, however, how your carpet benefits when you smear it with sprayed faeces rather than the raw article. Would the cleaning bill be less? I think not!

I also question their marketing tactics. We are talking about dog fouling. While this is a serious crime, I feel the following videos have gone a bit over the top! You need staying power to watch both of them but it is worth it in the end.

How does this help the fight? Well, if nothing else, it keeps the subject alive!

This video advert would cause me to avoid the product rather than buy it:

Be inspired by the next video. That said, even I can't get this excited about a faeces removal spray. Well, if the cricket isn't on then, perhaps on a very slow day, I might!

Thank Goodness We Have This Advice Available To Us!

Like all of our readers and followers, I have often had to remove dog excrement from various places. I currently have a pile on my grass verge awaiting attention!

Were it not for advice of the kind offered below, I would be devoid of ideas regarding means of removal. The world is grateful to the producers!

Another "Song" Re White Dog Poo

Now I cannot sing. Therefore, I would not allow anyone to video me attempting to sing, let alone video me and put it on Youtube.

The reference here to white dog poo appears somewhat gratuitous but gives evidence of the way dog fouling is now an accepted part of life.

Try not to self harm after listening to this!



Scoop It And Fling It!

We've had "Bag It and Bin It" and "Scoop The Poop", well now we have "Scoop It And Fling It"!

The video below brings it all together. A lady has a dog in her garden. The dog appears to have fouled the lawn. This, on the surface, is a responsible sequence of events. The lady can now bag the faeces and put them straight into her own bin.

Does she do that? No she does not! She approaches the faeces, has a look and then takes action. She fetches a scoop of some kind (all going well up to this point!) and she takes action!

Think of the choices; she has her own bin or she has the option of slinging the faeces into the road. A tough choice perhaps but, for this lady, no complex decision making process is necessary. She "scoops the poop" and flings it over the hedge into the road!

Now there is an argument, which states that the roads are so awash that one more bit won't be noticed. Here at Dog Fouling And Red Rubber Bands we say "unacceptable and a total waste"!

Surely it could have been posted to a deserving recipient?  This keeps the streets clean and is a form of recycling. Some people have no imagination!

Dog Fouling, Comedy And Everyday Culture

I don't watch "Weeds", in fact, I'd never heard of it before. That said, it is clearly a show, which is up to date with modern thinking as it focuses some humour squarely on dog fouling!

This would not be funny if dog fouling were not a constant blight of modern life. It gave me a chuckle before the final scene, which took me by surprise!

Do you ever have strange "Freudian" type dreams? I do and I'm sure you do as well. That said, in my most wild moments, I have never had a dream resembling behaviour such as that depicted below. I have been sleep walking in the past and can assure you that it isn't a nice experience but I hope never to perpetrate any act like the one you are about to see.

Enjoy and sleep well!

Poo Wi-Fi

This is a great idea from the Mexican internet portal company - Terra - to encourage dog owners to pick up after their dog. If the owner scoops the poop then Terra will reward them with some free Wi-Fi time!!

The company is piloting the idea in ten parks in Mexico City and if it catches on it will roll out across the whole of Mexico.

When people throw away their bags of poop in a special box in the park, it calculates the weight and Terra gives everyone free minutes of Wi-Fi in the park. The greater the weight, the more minutes are added - and everyone can enjoy a poo-free park. In an age when people are probably more interested in staring at their smartphone than watching what their dog is doing, it's a smart idea!

How To Dispose Of Dog Mess In Hertfordshire

Simple - just empty the bag in front of a neighbour's alley!

The gentleman in this video has grasped the concept of "bag it" but the "bin it" part seems to have passed him by.

This all took place in 2009 but has only now been published to the world.

Next time you find faeces on your path just remember, it might not have been placed there by the dog!

Marriage and Smearing - How The Cult Continues!

Imagine you are proudly announcing your engagement when a dog fouling, smearing incident takes place directly behind you. Well, that's exactly what happens in this video. There is then the standard attempt to catch the perpetrator.

There has been a sudden explosion of smearing. I can only observe that it creates employment for dry cleaners and detergent sellers. A way around this is to smear yourself in faeces before walking your dog. It takes the sting out of the attack!

Civil Rights? Not If You're A Dog!

We thank huffingtonpost.com for bringing this article to our attention.

Our regular readers and followers will be aware that DNA has long been suggested as a means of controlling dog fouling. The myth has now become a reality!

An "up market" apartment complex in Montgomery, Alabama has made it a condition of living in the complex that you allow your dog's DNA to be taken. While the civil rights aspect of the situation has been ignored, employment has been created. Poo Prints is the company, which managed the DNA. From faeces to financial success!

Whether we approve or not, the fouling issue has all but disappeared. It goes to show that enforcement with penalties can work. For my part, I would make a point by leaving human faeces at various locations. The results would be funny if nothing else! I must, however, stress that this should only be done by a disguised person in the dead of night!

Enjoy the video (sorry about the advert) and read the article here.

There's Nothing Like A Good Song

And this really is nothing like a good song! In attaching the "music" label to this post, I have really stretched the definition of the term.

We've heard some really good songs on this blog. I rather like Dog Shit Blues and also Pick Up The Dog Shit. While they really got me going, this song didn't!

That said, it is still art. All such efforts have their own artistic value. There is value in this song, you simply have to look hard for it!

With all that said, I welcome a1dalet to the fight. All members of the cause are valued members of our global operation!

Personal Attack

As I left my house yesterday, I found the following on my grass verge.

Goodness knows how big the dog is! I take this as a personal attack!

Plenty - Juan Sheet - Dog Mess Advert

The title says it all; Juan Sheet takes on dog mess!

I've watched this video and he does appear to say "mess", although why a dog would chose to defecate in its food bowl is beyond me. Perhaps it was making an observation about food quality!

While this advert further demonstrates how deeply dog fouling is now ingrained in our everyday culture, I somehow cannot imagine it appearing on TV with other adverts!

Neighbour Disputes, Smearing And International Perspectives

As well as establishing that history repeats itself, this blog also demonstrates that the same themes recur the world over as regards dog fouling.

We have seen neighbour disputes, we have seen smearing, we have seen faeces in the mailbox and we have seen the involvement of the law. Here, in Australia, they all blend together in this news report.

I can't really add much to this video. Once again, dog fouling goes international. Let's get posting it!

Flat Doors Dog Excrement Smear Pair Sought

We thank the BBC for this story. The smearing theme continues!



One of the men, who had a ginger beard, was carrying a black bag

It appears that two men, one pictured above, smeared dog faeces over two flat doors. The reason appears to be unknown. In a world of killing and violent crime, the BBC has found space for a dog faeces story. This will now be read the world over.

I must also congratulate the police on their insightful assessment of the offence as being "disgusting". Amen to that!

Article here.

Dog Fouling And Youth Culture

We thank Jenny Mestas for the following offering on Youtube. Jenny has published two videos. Having looked at them, I very much get the impression that Jenny has found some video making software and decided to use it. I have to say, she has done a reasonable job. Her skills exceed mine!

That said, young people have many, varied ways to pass the time and be silly. The question, therefore, is "why dog excrement?"

I'm not sure I have a definitive answer other than to observe that dog fouling has clearly been inveigled into youth culture.

I say "yo, homie, bring it on, dude!"

London, Paris And Now....Berlin!

I must admit, I had never heard of Jared Hasselhoff. He is clearly not a man to mess with. As well as having a stage name of "Evil", he is also German celebrity boxing heavyweight champion.

Perhaps that is how he can feel safe in walking the streets of Berlin and challenging people to pick up dog faeces with their bare hands and then hold it in their T shirts! Why would anyone do this is a fair question. It appears the answer is to get a free ticket to a rock concert.

I know very little about music. I have been to Berlin just after the wall came down. It was a weird experience seeing the old East contrasting with the modern West. That said, I did not notice a dog fouling problem. Jared appears to have a different view of the world. Allegedly, he has OCD, yet that obviously does not relate to cleanliness!

I can't really say much more. This video is longer than usual but shows what some people will do for a free ticket and, if nothing else, gets dog fouling back onto the international stage!

The East European Smearing Theme Continues

Once again, we see a smearing incident in Eastern Europe. This time, a car gets it more than the dog owner. As is usual, the dog remains aloof from it all.

It looks like this took place on a warm, summer day. These two "babes" really would have been "hot". I'm just glad I didn't have to pick the item up or clean the car out. Imagine the stench!

If nothing else, I think the point was made.

Dog Fouling v The Philosophy of Karl Marx

Karl Marx featured on this site recently, see here and a while ago here.

This time, we are looking at Karl's assessment of history, a major aspect of his theory of historical materialism. Karl famously stated that "history is nothing but the activity of men in pursuit of their ends". This approach to history does not allow for any suggestion that "history repeats itself". History is not an independent force. It is a record of "men" (glad Karl appreciated the role of women!) acting in their own interests. This blog proves him wrong!

In January, I photographed an example of dog fouling in Cornwall. The post is here but I reproduce the relevant picture below. To the left of the shadow of my shoulder, you can see dog faeces.

This was in January. Some 6 months later, I have returned to the very same spot. Can history repeat itself? I leave you to judge:

Talk your way out of that one, Karl!

The Cult Of Smearing It Down The Offender Continues

Our regular readers will remember Super Vaclav, who led the way in smearing dog faeces down offenders. Nobody will ever match his style, especially the costume!

While we have established that dog fouling is cross class, cross racial and cross cultural there seems to be an Eastern European smearing theme evolving.

Just as with Super Vaclav, we didn't see for certain that he escaped, so this video leaves us wondering what the ultimate outcome was. Did the dog owner catch the smearer? We will never know but we can surmise that the most intelligent life form in the video is the bemused German Shepherd, which appears to wish to do no more than foul and go home.

A Good Neighbour?

I think not!

That said, there is a certain anarchic quality to somebody, who watches her dog foul an area by waste bins and doesn't clear up. It's not like you'd even have to carry it any distance!

That said, at least it'll keep the flies away from the bins!

A Spectre Is Haunting Lewes.....

....The spectre of dog mess! Now I'm sure Karl Marx will forgive me for borrowing that opening but this is the stuff, of which social revolution is made.

I must, at the outset, thank one of our South East England operatives, whom I will identify as "PF", for sniffing out this information.

I have often been to Lewes, I love the antique shops. I must be honest, I have never had to scrape my shoes off after a visit. This just goes to show that we are not always aware of our surroundings! Lewes is clearly awash!

Cllrs Petrina Klingham and Ashley Price

As many will agree, for every Ying there is a Yang. Here, the Yang takes the form of councillors Petrina Klingham and Ashley Price. These two determined people have joined the fight and, like us, are using their blogs to combat dog fouling, Ashley here and Petrina here. As Ashley is quoted as observing here, “Poo does not make any form of aesthetic contribution or lend artistic merit to the landscape.”

Ashley and Petrina are focused on Lewes Railway Land, a beauty spot. This campaign has reached a national audience on the BBC website here. The BBC is a reliable source of acts and figures. The BBC advises that 150 tonnes of dog waste is emptied from the bins in Lewes per year. 150 tonnes! There must be many times that amount left lying around. I wonder why the council isn't piloting the concept of powering lamps as seen below?

The people of Lewes have my sympathy. I went for a walk two days ago and skidded on a pile on a country path. That was bad enough but150 tonnes? No way!

Petrina and Ashley, you are looking at the tip of the iceberg. That said, it's good to see local politicians getting up close and personal and then blogging about the problem. This is democracy in action, there'll be one heck of a stink if you fail!

Dog Fouling E-Petition - Please Sign!

For anyone, who might be unaware, the UK has a system of e-petitions. You submit your e-petition to the Home Office website. It is vetted and, if approved, goes on line. 100,000 signatures in a year could prompt a debate in parliament.

I have, in the interests of democracy and mending broken communities, submitted the following petition, which has been approved:

That the Dogs (Fouling of Land) Act 1996 be repealed and replaced with national legislation making dog fouling a criminal offence with sufficient penalties to enable allegations to be heard at the Crown Court

Imagine the debate in parliament; "can I ask the honourable member if she has ever plastered her shoes in dog faeces? If she had, she might not be laughing" or "has the honourable member recently had to pay to have his carpets cleaned? This is a problem faced by thousands of families on low incomes".

I urge you, in the strongest possible terms, to sign this petition. Together, we can show that democracy works for the people and isn't there to enable individuals to have a laugh. Absolutely not!!!

Please sign here.

Cathedral of Praise TV - Lighting the Darkness!!

Every once in a while, a shaft of light sparkles through the darkness! Today, that shaft of light is the Cathedral of Praise!

I have walked in the darkness for too long! I have watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, The Exorcist and even Postman Pat (that cat is truly demonic!). Since watching these programmes, my life has thundered downhill! I now spend my existence in darkness and seek only to become undead, existing in a state of damnation for all eternity as I deliver letters while sinking my fangs into the necks of virgins!

The Cathedral of Praise has changed all that for me. I now realise that Coronation Street is a instrument of darkness - fornication, adultery, violence, theft and frequent parking violations! I won't be watching Euro 2012 anymore - too much spitting! But enough of my personal journey!

I must also congratulate C of P Ministries on the way they have weaved dog fouling into their message. This makes it relevant and pertinent to all of us, especially those, who have ever plastered their carpets!

Stick with the video, it delivers a powerful message and is worth it all for the closing sequence when the agent of Hades is defeated by the power of light - and dog faeces!

The Park Lamp Idea Hits The UK

Gary Downie

Many of our regular visitors and followers will remember the Massachusetts project to use dog excrement to fuel street lamps.

I must admit that I thought this would only happen in the US but Gary Downie has proved us wrong and we thank the Mail Online for bringing this to our attention.

Gary was fed up with getting dog faeces on his children's shoes and stroller. Most of us would react by getting a cloth and a hose. Gary was having none of that and reacted by sinking £10,000 of his own money into designing the ‘dog stations’ with his business partner Christopher Dunn, from Ellesmere Port.

There is, however, a real challenge here. Gary and Christopher will have to collect 4 tonnes of faeces every day to pilot the project! I know the problem is bad but 4 tonnes? I can only assume that Gary has scoped out the business case and discovered that there is a locally based breeding centre for St Bernards. If there isn't, then I suggest that he gets a courier firm engaged as soon as possible!

The following simple picture from the StreetKleen site explains it all.

StreetKleen Bio Project

We wish this project well. The company is looking to employ 6 people. Great for the economy but I hope they have large shovels and a face mask each.

StreetKleen site here.

Mail Online here.

Is Society Getting Worse?

This blog prides itself on making meaningful social comment. This time, it's about criminal damage and fear of capture/punishment.

Some two and a half years ago, this blog highlighted the appalling practice of causing damage to dog waste bins through the use of fireworks. I condemned such behaviour then and I condemn it now! If you want to experience and share my disgust of over two years ago, have a look here.

As you will see from that video, this disgraceful act of criminal damage was carried out anonymously under the cover of darkness. A clear indication that the perpetrators knew that their actions were reprehensible and illegal. How times have changed!

Those, who would seek to destroy the very infrastructure of our social order now do so openly and without fear of detection! Is this really what society has come to?

Also, I am disgusted at the lack of professionalism shown by modern wreckers. Two and a half years ago, the bin went up like an Apollo rocket. Now, a tiny bang and a comment about the smell!

No fear of detection and no pride in their work! If this is democracy, I want no part of it!

Dog Fouling, Perversion and Law Enforcement

Debryant Banks

I have never met Debryant Banks. His mugshot above does not make him look like a comfortable individual. He is also banned from the campus of the University of Louisiana at Monroe, see here.

It's not for me to judge. That said, he is currently on bail for indecent exposure. It appears that a key piece of evidence against him is dog faeces! We have finally seen dog fouling helping in the fight against crime! The message to all ladies out there is clear - invite those dogs into your gardens and get them fouling under your windows. You know it makes sense!

A news report follows an advert below. When this man chose to break the law it can be said that, on this occasion, he really put his foot in it!

This episode gives a whole new meaning to the expression "you couldn't detect excrement if you were standing in it"!

Man arrested for lewd gestures: krqe.com

Continuing The Music Theme

This time, it's rap. I apologise for the language. I warn you that, in keeping with much rap music, this song (I use the term loosely) makes use of the "c" and "f" words. While I don't use this language myself, I feel that I owe it to my public to publish a representative  cross section of available, dog fouling material.

So please enjoy this little masterpiece. It'll have you waving your hands in the air making "gangsta" signs, after which you can go and chill with your homeys. Yo, sister/brother, listen up!

Dog Fouling, Music and Perversion!

If anyone had ever put to me that the combination referred to in the title of this blog post would ever come together, I would have rubbished the idea. How wrong I would have been!

I have a fairly vivid imagination but even I cannot understand how anybody could establish a link between picking up dog excrement and getting "turned on", especially when watching the clean up taking place! I can only make the observation that it takes all sorts to foul a field!

I also apologise for the vulgar and explicit content of part of this video. If you are under 18, please make sure you watch it at least 3 times! Lastly, don't complain to me, I am merely the reaper, who gathers the harvest of dog fouling material!

Attack On Neigbour's Garden

A fellow Twitter user has sent me this picture of her neighbour's dog letting one go in her garden. The camera never lies!

I have already given strong advice that posting faeces is illegal - don't do it!