Monday, January 25, 2010

Clint Eastwood Advises On What Happens To Dog Excrement

I expect that you have often wondered what happens to dog excrement once it has been deposited. I know that I have spent many hours pondering on this very subject. Where does it go, how is it cleared up?

Clint appears to know very well what happens to it. In fact, in this scene from one of his films, he elaborates upon that very point. This proves that dog fouling has been a problem since the seventies.

Clint, thank you for raising the issue to Hollywood status!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

I can still taste what on your lips ?!?!?

This is a clip from a recent episode of Forbidden Science.

I have watched this clip over and over again - not because there are two hot girls kissing in it I hasten to add - but because of the comment one of the girls makes after finishing the kiss.

Does she really say, "I can still taste the dog turd on your lips".

Now we know how she picks up her dog's poop!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Making Things Right with Pete & Red

Pete & Red are God's!

They have an answer to all of those issues that really piss you off. They shy away from nothing and will tackle everything from sexual harassment in the work place to loud car stereos & neighbours from hell and of course, not forgetting our favourite, dog fouling.

Once you have listened to their words of wisdom, do a search for them in YouTube - you will be surprised at how refreshingly practical they can be in any situation.
"Sometimes you just got to give a jerk his dog crap back!"

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Yellow snow

Please, please, please be careful. With all this snow & ice about it is so easy to forget the menace that is lurking just below the crisp white surface in our parks & pavements.

It is the duty of Dog Fouling & Red Rubber Bands to highlight the danger signs that will prevent your "family walk in the snow" becoming a snowball in the face that no one wants ...

1. Brief your family & plan your route: A walk in a snow covered park that is frequented by dogs is fraught with "hidden dangers". If you decide to walk in such areas then make sure your group, particularly the young & elderly, are aware of the tell tale signs, eg: yellow snow, melted areas & paw marks. AVOID!

2. Agree action plans & leads for different scenarios
: A dog turd snowball in the face requires a different response from the group to a child sucking on a yellow snowball or chewing on a frozen "Mars bar" found nearby. BE PREPARED!

3. Watch for the big melt: This is the time that you will see just how close you were to danger. Get out quickly and start plotting these finds on a map in preparation for the next snow fall that will hide them all again. Be one step ahead & keep your family safe.

I hope this helps. If you have any other tips to keep our readers safe in the winter months then please let us know.

Also - do red rubbers bands migrate during the winter months ? I haven't seen any for ages :-)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Poo Trap Revisited

You will all remember the Poo Trap.

This is clearly an idea, which is catching on. I thougt that I would take the opportunity to promote a simlar idea. My only objection; why bin it? There must be someone, who would benefit from a postal delivery.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Give poop the push!

Here at Dog Fouling & Red Rubbers Bands we are always on the look out for the new & innovative products that will encourage dog owners to pick up their dog's crap and make the world a nicer place to walk bare foot in.

We believe we have found such a product. A product that not only makes collecting dog faeces hastle free, but also makes use of those discarded red rubber bands whilst doing so!

Poopsta takes pooper scooping to the next level, skillfully blending red rubber bands into the dog crap collection equation.

Richard Glyn from Poopsta was keen to emphasis to us how important red rubber bands were to the success of the product, "Your blog certainly raised a smile on my face. Poopsta is the world's first one-push poop scoop and is powered by a rubber band ... the red rubber bands work just perfectly ... it must be fate!"

Invented by Richard's dad, Maurice, the Lancashire duo have become an internet sensation with Richard's YouTube Poopsta demonstration video racking up viewers all around the world.

Check out Richard's promotion video and then ask yourself this question - is that a real dog poo he leaves on his kitchen table to pick up? :-/

We wish this father & son duo of British entrepreneurs every success with their business.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Revenge is a dish best served shit.

"Looking for a great gag gift? Has some one really pissed you off? Don't get mad, GET EVEN. Send that special someone a big stinky pile of shit."

And with these opening words you enter the wonderful world of, a company that is doing a roaring business in delivering packages containing fresh animal shit to your worst enemy all "guaranteed anonymous" and apparently completely legal(?!?)

The company proudly displays testimonials from satisfied customers:

"Your shit is some of the finest shit ever sent in the mail" : Stan - Chicago
"I sent my ex-boyfriend a pile of cow dung about 3 weeks ago ... he's pissed off and going nuts accusing friends, FANTASTIC!" : Amber - San Diego

"This is a gift that every asshole neighbor should get" : Anon - New Jersey
The site helpfully goes onto recommend those who should be sent "a healthy helping of some of the nastiest, stinkiest, fresh shit packages you have ever seen", including cheating partners, your boss, your kids teacher & rich gloating friends ... the possibilities are endless! offers three different types of shit - cow, elephant & gorilla - in two different quantities - a quart or a gallon, with prices ranging from $12.95 - $23.95 + shipping. A small price to pay to watch the look on your miserable bosses face when a gallon of cow dung is delivered to his office desk!
But remember "you may NOT use this service to threaten, constitute harassment, violate a legal restraint, or for any other unlawful purpose". Good advice from a company that makes a living delivering boxes of shit to innocent people anonymously!
I have already emailed them to recommend that they offer dog shit deliveries as well - this would help clear our streets of this menace and bring a smile to someones face.
What a brilliant service that you could only find in the land of the free :-)

Friday, January 01, 2010

Divine Coprophagia

Here at Dog Fouling & Red Rubber Bands HQ we received an anonymous package from a blog reader over the festive period.

The package contained a DVD of "Pink Flamingos" and a piece of paper with only one word on it - Coprophagia.

Wikipedia quickly gave me the definition for the word, "Coprophagia is the consumption of faeces, from the Greek κόπρος copros ("faeces") and φαγεῖν phagein ("to eat")."
How interesting I thought - you learn something new everyday ... but what is the relevance of the DVD I hear you ask ?

Pink Flamingos is a 1972 American transgressive comedy directed by John Waters. When the film was initially released, it caused a huge degree of controversy and thus became one of the most notorious cult films ever made. It made an underground star of the flamboyant female impersonator, Divine.

Still none the wiser ?

Then allow me to link everything together ...

The infamous ending to Pink Flamingos starts as Crackers, Cotton and Divine walk down the street, where they spot a dog and its owner.

The dog defecates on the sidewalk and Divine sits down next to it.

She takes the faeces in her hand and puts it in her mouth, proving as the narrator states, she is "not only the filthiest person in the world, but is also the filthiest actress in the world".

Now it takes a strong stomach to watch this clip - so be warned. But take solice in the fact that you have now learnt a new word that you can confidently throw into everyday conversation and use to win when you next play Scrabble.

The DVD is still available on Amazon, has a kickin' soundtrack and was voted No:29 in the 50 Films To See Before You Die poll.

I'm off for a quick bite to eat :-)

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