Thursday, August 27, 2009

Doggy Poo

I can't wait for my kids to go back to school - they are driving me mad.

Today I took them down to the local Blockbuster to get them a DVD to keep them amused for an hour or so and saw this DVD for rent in the kids section.

Doggy Poo : "Sometimes dreams really do come true"

The title character is deposited at the side of the road by a little dog. Poo then wonders about the meaning of life & why he exists and decides to travel the world.

He meets some friends along the way, including a leaf and a clump of soil(!), before eventually meeting a dandelion who uses him as fertilizer.

The moral of the story - even the humblest were created by God for a reason.
It was created by the Korean's - a race that have interesting views on dog fouling and how to deal with the resulting mess. Remember Dog Shit Girl ?

All I can see is that the Korean's are undoing all the good work that has been done in the UK to eradicate incidents of dog fouling. After watching this DVD my kids went out to collect some "cute" dog faeces and then reinacted the DVD in their bedrooms.
I have a good mind to sue the producer of this filth when my kids go blind with toxocariasis!
Saying that though - the tunes aren't half catchy and I find myself humming "I'm a little doggy poo" all day at work.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

At Last, The Two Topics Combine!

Dick Felton of Keep Britiain Tidy has, at last, realised that dog fouling and red rubber bands are inextricably linked in the minds of the British public.

As Dick put it: "Elastic bands may not be as visually offensive as dog dirt or half-eaten pizza, but they are most definitely litter."

Postal workers appear to be claiming that they are discarding their rubber bands because they are being forced to work too fast. To date, I have yet to see a postal worker running down my road.

I thank the Guardian for highlighting the problem here.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Poo Trap

I love gizmo's and gadgets. I'm fascinated in new and innovative technology, particularly if it can be used in the war against dog fouling.

Since this blog started I have shown you several of the weapons of war that are available to all in this never ending campaign.

From the cute designer poo bags and bizarre poo catcher to the chilling force behind poop freeze, not forgetting my favourite, the swooper scooper. I particularly like the way that the designer has incorporated an offensive weapon within this product.

Next up is this new product from America. I wont go into detail describing exactly what it does just yet, watch the video and see for yourself. As you do, marvel at the way that the inventor has created a product so discrete that you wouldn't even notice that your dog was wearing it - pure genius in design.

The company website includes a FAQ section which promises to answer all your nagging concerns.

I particularly like the way they emphasis the dogs excitement at using the product, the respect you will have for them, their indepth research and how it works particularly well with diarrhea!!!

Will my dog get used to "PooTrap" easily? : "Of course, they might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, however after 5 to 10 minutes when they are used to it, they will start to run happily again."

I'm sure my dog will not like it? : "Actually, according to our research 98% of dogs that use PooTrap for 3 days will be excited to see the product and their owner."

Should I always use the "PooTrap" when walking my dog? : "Yes, even when your dog is having diarrhea."

My dog doesn't feel respected when wearing the "PooTrap"? : "Babies wear diapers and they are truly loved by their parents, hence same applied to dog owners."

Can "PooTrap" be used when dogs are having diarrhea or at home? : "You will be glad to have PooTrap when your dog is having diarrhea. They can wear it in your home."

The product is priced from $29.95 for Poop Size 1 to $38.95 for Poop Size 8.

They don't explain how you work out your dogs Poop Size measurements, but I recon size 8 is an elephant judging by the size of the bags included!!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Talk About On Your Own Doorstep!!!

I had occasion today to attend my local sorting office to collect a parcel.

While there, I decided to conduct some undercover work regarding red rubber bands. Such covert activity is not easy, therefore the quality of the following video is not perfect but it indicates the attitude of those, who would pollute our society with this foul menace, which glows red with the anger of Satan!

The marks on the ground are a little unclear but they are red rubber bands. Click the thumbnail to share my experience!

Obscene Car Park

Now it would be easy to dismiss this as simply people not caring about their workplace but it is worse. This has clearly been done to provoke members of the public. It obviously works. While the assistant was getting my parcel, I took the following picture of a sign by the counter:

Quite clearly, they are aware of the effects and have faced abuse as a result. This does not require a sign, it requires action by the governement!

How long will this attack on our civilisation last?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Off to work with a smile

Many thanks to Ms Betty Boner of Crystal Springs, Mississippi, USA for sending me this one.

I particularly like the efforts that the wife has gone to in hiding the dog crap under the car handle for her husband to find on his way to work.

As with most dog shit comedy capers we have seen on this blog, the victim responds with involuntary vomiting on realising that they have touched, tasted or smelt dog faeces.

I'm sure the husband in this video clip saw the funny side and has enjoyed laughing about his wife's side splitting tease during many a dinner party. You be the judge ...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Dog shit calendar

I'm back from holiday, refreshed and recharged and ready to rejoin the fight against the dog fouling blight on our landscape.

I used to think that there was no way to make a profit from incidents of dog mess - that was until I walked into a small joke shop in a mid Argyll (Scotland) and found evidence that the world is still full of entrepreneurs despite this terrible recession we are in.

The advertisement read:

"The Monthly Doos 2010 Dog Poop Calendar : For only £12.99 you can have 12 months of pure crap from a poop from the Far East to that special gift left under the tree"

No Bullshit!!! You heard right - a 2010 calendar featuring pictures of dog crap from around the world can be yours for only £12.99.

Each month includes details about the "hound that left the mound" along with doggy doo trivia relevant to that month AND (if that's not all) all the UK, Canadian, USA & Australian public holidays and moon phases (do they influence dog fouling in some way?).

Needless to say I jumped at the opportunity and bought one to brighten up my office - now I can't wait until 2010!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Warning - Explicit Evidence of the Dangers of Dog Fouling

This Video Is Hard Hitting. Be Warned Before Watching!

Dog fouling might seem funny, right up to the point, when the product is on your foot. Now imagine that you have no shoes on!

That is exactly what happened to this lady.

It isn't funny and serves only to illustrate the effects of this disgusting crime.
Feel free to watch this video but do NOT watch it if you have a weak stomach or have just eaten. Be advised, the lady vomits!

If only all MPs would watch this and see the devastating effects!

This Video Is Hard Hitting. Be Warned Before Watching!

Sunday, August 09, 2009

£500 Reward For Information Re Dog Fouling

£500 cash for reporting dog fouling

Waltham Forest council is offering a reward of £100 to people, who provide information about dog fouling, which results in a summons being issued, £50 on conviction and £500 if the court imposes the maximum fine.

This is an ideal opportunity. I will get as many people as I can, who are on lower incomes, retired or unemployed, to let their dogs foul the stret while I video the act. Each will receive a lower end fine, let us say £50 maximum, leaving us with £100 to share between us.

Thank you, Waltham Fortest council, this will be a welcome source of additional income!

Article here.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Recycling Gone Too Far

Jill Martin Waves to The Cameras
My thanks to the BBC for bringing us this story.
Two years ago, after 21 years, Jill's marriage broke down.
There was nothing else to do but feed her husband a curry containing dog's excrement. In mitigation, having pleaded guilty at court, Jill's lawyer explained that she had suffered five years of continued mental abuse.
This is yet another way of cleaning up the streets. Jill, we all understand where you came from. Read all about Jill's actions here.
Did the Sheriff find it funny? We will never know but as can be seen here, she chose to admonish Jill for her actions.
The moral is simple. If you have a divorce pending, reach for the shovel and go for a walk!

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