Give poop the push!

Here at Dog Fouling & Red Rubbers Bands we are always on the look out for the new & innovative products that will encourage dog owners to pick up their dog's crap and make the world a nicer place to walk bare foot in.

We believe we have found such a product. A product that not only makes collecting dog faeces hastle free, but also makes use of those discarded red rubber bands whilst doing so!

Poopsta takes pooper scooping to the next level, skillfully blending red rubber bands into the dog crap collection equation.

Richard Glyn from Poopsta was keen to emphasis to us how important red rubber bands were to the success of the product, "Your blog certainly raised a smile on my face. Poopsta is the world's first one-push poop scoop and is powered by a rubber band ... the red rubber bands work just perfectly ... it must be fate!"

Invented by Richard's dad, Maurice, the Lancashire duo have become an internet sensation with Richard's YouTube Poopsta demonstration video racking up viewers all around the world.

Check out Richard's promotion video and then ask yourself this question - is that a real dog poo he leaves on his kitchen table to pick up? :-/

We wish this father & son duo of British entrepreneurs every success with their business.

Revenge is a dish best served shit.

"Looking for a great gag gift? Has some one really pissed you off? Don't get mad, GET EVEN. Send that special someone a big stinky pile of shit."

And with these opening words you enter the wonderful world of shitsenders.com, a company that is doing a roaring business in delivering packages containing fresh animal shit to your worst enemy all "guaranteed anonymous" and apparently completely legal(?!?)

The company proudly displays testimonials from satisfied customers:

"Your shit is some of the finest shit ever sent in the mail" : Stan - Chicago

"I sent my ex-boyfriend a pile of cow dung about 3 weeks ago ... he's pissed off and going nuts accusing friends, FANTASTIC!" : Amber - San Diego

"This is a gift that every asshole neighbor should get" : Anon - New Jersey

The site helpfully goes onto recommend those who should be sent "a healthy helping of some of the nastiest, stinkiest, fresh shit packages you have ever seen", including cheating partners, your boss, your kids teacher & rich gloating friends ... the possibilities are endless!

Shitsenders.com offers three different types of shit - cow, elephant & gorilla - in two different quantities - a quart or a gallon, with prices ranging from $12.95 - $23.95 + shipping. A small price to pay to watch the look on your miserable bosses face when a gallon of cow dung is delivered to his office desk!

But remember "you may NOT use this service to threaten, constitute harassment, violate a legal restraint, or for any other unlawful purpose". Good advice from a company that makes a living delivering boxes of shit to innocent people anonymously!

I have already emailed them to recommend that they offer dog shit deliveries as well - this would help clear our streets of this menace and bring a smile to someones face.

What a brilliant service that you could only find in the land of the free :-)

Divine Coprophagia

Here at Dog Fouling & Red Rubber Bands HQ we received an anonymous package from a blog reader over the festive period.

The package contained a DVD of "Pink Flamingos" and a piece of paper with only one word on it - Coprophagia.

Wikipedia quickly gave me the definition for the word, "Coprophagia is the consumption of faeces, from the Greek κόπρος copros ("faeces") and φαγεῖν phagein ("to eat")."

How interesting I thought - you learn something new everyday ... but what is the relevance of the DVD I hear you ask ?

Pink Flamingos is a 1972 American transgressive comedy directed by John Waters. When the film was initially released, it caused a huge degree of controversy and thus became one of the most notorious cult films ever made. It made an underground star of the flamboyant female impersonator, Divine.

Still none the wiser ?

Then allow me to link everything together ...

The infamous ending to Pink Flamingos starts as Crackers, Cotton and Divine walk down the street, where they spot a dog and its owner.

The dog defecates on the sidewalk and Divine sits down next to it.

She takes the faeces in her hand and puts it in her mouth, proving as the narrator states, she is "not only the filthiest person in the world, but is also the filthiest actress in the world".

Now it takes a strong stomach to watch this clip - so be warned. But take solice in the fact that you have now learnt a new word that you can confidently throw into everyday conversation and use to win when you next play Scrabble.

The DVD is still available on Amazon, has a kickin' soundtrack and was voted No:29 in the 50 Films To See Before You Die poll.

I'm off for a quick bite to eat :-)

Hertsmere Council And News Shopper - United They Stand, Divided They Foul!

As I have previously reported, crime is dropping all over the country. Often, I ask why this is. I would like to think that it's because the entire nation is working together to combat acquisitive crimes and crimes of violence.

Every time I come to this conclusion, I read something, which shows me how wrong I am.

The News Shopper advises us that: "Dumped cars and dog fouling top the list of offences Hertsmere Borough Council residents would like to see people fined for". What a focus, what an emphasis on public safety!

This does, however, dovetail with the views of the Local Authority. Hertsmere Council has a section on its website devoted to "Animal Fouling and Dead Animals". The section opens with the gripping and astounding statement: "Each day, dogs produce vast amounts of excrement." If only every authority had this kind of incisive view of social activity. It even goes on to observe that this can cover shoes and clothes! I fail to see how this could routinely happen. I do remember my brother once coming home covered in cow dung but he had ridden down a road, which had clearly been visited by a herd, and fallen off his bike!

I think that I can only conclude one thing; I have no desire to be covered in dog excrement and, therefore, will not be visiting Hertsmere in the near future!

Read the relevant articles here:
News Shopper.
Hertsmere Council.

Last minute dog shit

It's nearly Christmas - have you done all your Xmas shopping ? No ? Then allow me to advise on a couple of stocking fillers that are best sellers this year in the world of dog fouling & red rubber bands ...

Plop Trumps has been our No:1 best seller since June this year and is sure to brighten up everyones Xmas day.

Forget settling down to watch the James Bond film after Xmas dinner - grab your Plop Trumps and keep the family entertained for hours.

A bargain at only £4.95.

Or how about a DVD to keep the kids quiet after the big meal to allow you a quick snooze.

At only £5 Doggy Poo is a sure fire family favourite.

Next up is something for the busy executive - a 2010 dog poop calendar.

This is a bit more expensive at £12.99 but is a sure fire way to put your unique stamp on your drab uniform city office.

All these, and more, are available at our Dog Fouling & Red Rubber Bands Shop :-)