Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Stamp It Out

Last year The Royal Mail bought 872 million red rubber bands at a cost of more than £1m.

Apparently, they lose 300 million of their red rubber bands every year. No wonder, when the few items that arrived today were wrapped in ten of them.


We can have a free supply of red rubber bands or we can have clean streets. It seems we can't have both.

So pick your side, protect your eyes and get ready for the biggest elastic band fight ever.

Peter Arronsen

Hello!

My name is Peter and I'm very pleased to be a founder member of this Blog, which focuses on two issues, which are the blight of modern society.

Firstly, however, a bit about myself. I am a civil servant, who believes that nature is a force, with which we should work. While bodily functions are a natural part of this harmonious living, there is a limit to the way in which modern living can accommodate old ways. Therefore, I and many like minded people tirelessly campaign regarding dog fouling.

I accept that many aspects of this topic might appear to be funny but I have nice carpets in my house and dog faeces simply do not go.

That said, I have often stuffed my foot into a good pile with a view to damaging the carpets of people, against whom I have a grievance. This is just further proof of the need to prevent such activity.

Red rubber bands are infuriating. Every day, as I walk to the railway station, I see the streets awash with this menace. I start the walk happy and get to the station absolutely enraged. Is it any wonder that there is so much vandalism?

On a personal note, when not campaigning, I get back to nature as much as I can. I often allow this to manifest itself in the way I enter fields and stand there screaming at the animals. Sheep make me do this in particular and sometimes I’m sick. Very cathartic!

The doctors and other authorities have always been very helpful and it is thanks to them that I am free today to carry on with this campaign. I can certainly assure you that I never want to go back!

Please support our cause and feel free to state how you feel about me, our campaign or life in general.

Thank you.

Forum

Dog Fouling & Red Rubber Bands

Best of red rubber bands

My thanks to Yamada Tarō from Tokyo, Japan who sent us in this "gruesome" photo taken during a recent "Japan's Got Talent" TV show.

Yamada goes on to say that the hapless contestant didn't get through to the next round - should have used red rubber bands then.


Best of readers letters


"If no one's looking I don't pick up my dogs turds"

Mr Anon - Loch Lomond, Scotland
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Sir,

A great public service could be rendered by dog owners mixing a bio-luminescent additive to their pet's food.

This would have the effect of making the dog's excrement glow in the dark, and therefore much easier to avoid while walking home along dimly lit streets.

Mickey "The Fish" Harrison, Hull, UK
***************************************


Sir,

Nowhere is sacred. The sports field in my town is one vast latrine. The Parish Council formed a "steering committee" on the subject. It has steered itself out of sight - nothing heard of them for at least a year.

Ms Regina Jelfs, Lincoln, UK
*******************************

 
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