Once again we have to thank the News Shopper for bringing us a cracking story!
Andrew Scotter and Terry Liddle, pictured above, are fed up with daily deposits of urine and excrement being left in the lift in their block of flats in Eltham, South East London. There is a graphic picture of the issue below.
In keeping with the issues raised on this blog, they want CCTV to be installed so that the offender(s)can be captured. As we know, this would cost money and requires there to be evidence of an offence taking place. Greenwich Council has blamed the mess on a dog, but at a meeting last week, calls were made for forensic tests on the poo, which residents are confident will prove it is manmade. Personally, I can think of no better way to spend taxpayers' money.
At least Terry is unwilling to blame a dog. As he so succinctly and eloquently puts it: "If it's a dog it must have incredibly large bowels and a very large bladder, people go out for an evening, get bladdered and, when they get in the lift, deliberately or otherwise, lose control of their bodily functions and let fly."
Personally, I go with Terry's "let fly" theory. I wonder if this heralds a new campaign? "If the lift's where you let fly in, then get a bag and use the bin". Please feel free to suggest other slogans using the comments facility.
I will close with some wise words of graffiti, which I saw in a lift in the East End of London some 25 or so years ago:
Q "What is the difference between a toilet and a lift"?
A "You can't flush a lift"!